|Posted by firstname.lastname@example.org on August 8, 2020 at 5:20 AM|
Today, I want to talk about "regret."
We think "regret" is a natural and needed part of life because we grew up being told it was a sign of a good person. Good people are good and aware enough to regret bad decisions, or good intentions that came out wrong, or things we should have done and didn't, or things we shouldn't have done and did, and so on.
Please, pay attention to the rest of the picture: "bad decisions" "good intentions that came out wrong" "things we should have done and didn't" "things we shouldn't have done and did" and "so on"...
You cannot feel regret without feeling one of these type of things is true... and that's why it feels so bad, because it isn't true. If you didn't have that experience, how would you know you prefer it the other way?
Let me repeat that in another way:
We're not born with regret. We are born with love and wanting to experience this new life, and we don't know any better.
(Literally, there is no better than being in the energy of love and wanting to experience this new life!)
We are *taught* regret.
We are taught regret for many reasons, including but not limited to the fact those who teach us regret were also taught regret, and those who taught them were also taught regret, and so on (I don't pretend to know the true origin of the feeling even if I'm aware of the etymology;) because we have a perception of good and bad, should and shouldn't, right and wrong, and we want ourselves and our kids to be on the 'right' side of these fences; because we inherently know self-reflection is a fundamental part of our evolution and growth.
It is easy to tell when something is not good for us, even when it is in the disguise of being good, and that is how it effects the next sequence of experiences you have.
When we regret, it snowballs into other things (including but not limited to) insecurity about our own decision making, insecurity about life, doing things we don't want to do, not doing things we do want to do, ignoring our instincts, loving ourselves (or others) less, depression, cowardice, bravado, *needing* the approval of others, and so on.
We can want to live better, and not have to feel regret.
We can acknowledge a better choice exists, without regret.
We can believe something is right or wrong, without regret.
To stop living with regret one needs only to master one thing:
When self-reflecting on the past, focus toward the better future.
Regret teaches us to be sorry for the past, to wish to change the past, to mourn the past, and in general, keeps us in the past even as we move into our new present and future.
Living without regret, one can acknowledge that, first and foremost, this perceived unwanted experience or thing showed us the path we would prefer in our future, and all we have to do is focus on that... the better future!
Instead of focusing on the thing that gave us this impression and enlightenment of what we don't want, if we focus on the gratitude for the clarity and our desire for our newly refined want, we will remain true to our desire to be good people while also enriching our future instead of living in our past.
Let me put that another way: To live without regret....
1) Acknowledge the thing you realize you'd prefer be different.
2) Be grateful that you realized it!
3) Focus on the clarity it gave you toward what you DO want.
4) Make a point to live what you DO want.
No regret necessary.
In fact, regret will slow you down and confuse you so, let it go as a thing of the past and let's build a better future for all.
For now, just let that sink in...
Cheers and Namaste,
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